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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I generally talk about having a great family and a good childhood. Compared to many people, I feel I did. I have parents who loved me and siblings and who were well-intentioned. They didn't do everything right but I feel guilty / unfair talking about that as I feel they did their best and had a good heart behind it. Their own childhoods influenced how they parented and they grew up in a very repressed / cultish environment so I feel they made major steps in trying to better themselves compared to what they had.

Yet, some of the things in my childhood shock people when I tell them. They see aspects as abusive or traumatic. I talk about those things in a very detached / unemotional way and also get told that isn't normal. My childhood has impacted me and who I became, but I feel that is true for everyone. I have many good memories as well and still see my family regularly. I would say I was raised unconventionally and while I recognize areas where they could have done things differently, it was just how my family was - for better or worse.

I have never spoken to my parents about anything that happened during my childhood as they are kind of fragile in a way and I have always been the strong one who can deal with anything. I think because they feel they tried really hard to be good parents, they would be absolutely devastated to hear otherwise. They still have a great deal of their identity wrapped up in being parents / grandparents.

I recently had to share about my childhood as we are going through the adoption process and the home study case worker was concerned with how I talked about my childhood and also that I have never done therapy. Since I lived it and don't feel it was that bad and had lots of good, I don't really know what purpose therapy would serve. Also since I am functional, why open up a can of worms - is it really doing to make my life better?

I am worried thought that is a strike against us in the adoption process.

[/quote]

So your parents are too fragile and their feelings should be carefully spared, but your feelings don't matter and should be continuously bottled up and disregarded, because you're "strong"? And you don't see any issues with that and think you are perfectly fit to parent and don't need therapy? 
On what planet does this make sense?[/quote]

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