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[quote=Anonymous]I thought I would have gotten used to it by now, but it's been 8 months of watching my radiant, pregnant friend (and coworker) and I can't bear to look at her. For some reason, that's the most upsetting part for me- seeing how beautiful and happy she looks, and wishing so badly that I could just switch places with her.

I skipped the baby shower last week, thanks to advice on this board. I didn't know that I was "allowed" to feel this way, or to protect myself from being in situations that cause me more pain. I wonder if this will ruin my friendship with this woman...it must be apparent to her that I'm avoiding her.

I know this is REALLY irrational, but I still feel hurt that she didn't tell me right away, but told other people. Again, this is not a healthy thinking pattern, but I just so wish I could have her life. I know I've got to stop comparing myself to this woman, but for some reason, I just can't stop going into that horribly negative place. We are both living abroad in our respective partners' home country and working at the same place, so "in the same boat," but not really at all.

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