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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a severe over use of the word bully on this thread.  [b]Not liking another kid is not bullying.  13 year old girls are allowed to not love everyone.[/b]

If I was in your situation I'd scrap the party idea entirely.  I'd let my DD pick ONE friend to do something special with to celebrate.[/quote]

+1. My children know they must be polite to anyone they have to interact with regardless of whether or not they like the person, but for voluntary social occasions during their free time they can choose who to invite based on who they enjoy spending time with. I would not get involved in OP's scenario, especially given that it's the kid's birthday party.

If someone was invited and people were unkind, I would put a stop to that, but not being invited to something isn't treating the girl badly. [/quote]

Reading comprehension. There are lots of signs that this is more than just "not liking" someone.[/quote]

I read OP's post and follow-up.

So, several girls do not like Larla, and discuss amongst themselves that they do not wish to spend time around Larla. I personally have no problem with that.

Now, using profanity to talk about Larla and calling her rude things is certainly unkind and tasteless, so I would speak to my DD about the variety of reasons it is best to speak politely about others. Again, though, people's own opinions and what kids talk about between themselves is something I regard as their own business. I would only consider it bullying if the kids were calling Larla such things to her face or in a manner that makes it likely she would become aware of what they are saying -- to me, OP's post wasn't clear on that.

It's one thing to tell a group of people (your friends over a morning coffee, for example) how much of a b*tch someone is being at work and how it is making your life unnecessarily difficult. It would be another thing entirely -- and completely inappropriate -- to call said annoying coworker a b*tch to her face or to circulate an email throughout the entire company in which you call her what you happen to think of her. This seems like an analogous situation.

The kids don't like Larla and don't want to spend time around her. Forcing the DD to invite Larla to the party serves very little purpose and is likely to backfire. We're all a bit biased by our own perspectives and past experiences, and based on mine I want my children to understand that while civility towards anyone who isn't dangerous is required it is also acceptable to decide to limit interactions with other people you don't particularly care for. I can think of no circumstance under which I would force any of my kids to invite another person to an occasion with a primarily social purpose, because it just doesn't seem at all sensible. [/quote]

This mom is the prime example of how queen bee bullying ends up with the victim cutting or killing themselves.

When the mom is on board with mean or bullying behavior, as this mom is, there really isn't anything that can be done.[/quote]

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