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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't make a lifetime commitment to another human being without living together first. Breaking a lease is easier than getting a divorce. You can love someone but be incompatible in how you live day to day. While most people don't intentionally lie to their potential spouses, they often compartmentalize the unpleasant/conflict causing aspects of their lives/personalities. When you live together, there's nowhere to hide.

Before dh, I broke up with two serious bfs, that I was otherwise compatible with, based on info I learned about them by living together. Bf#1 was a big spender and had wealthy parents that were financially generous. What I didn't know: Despite a fairly high salary, he lived above his means, had little savings, and substantial consumer debt/bad credit. His lifestyle was being subsidized by his parents and they used that money to exert control over his life. Bf #2 talked a good game about splitting hh responsibilities equitably. In practice, he expected me to do everything. He came from a traditional family where his sahm did all the domestic stuff and basically defaulted to that setup once we moved in together. We were renting a 700 sq ft one bedroom apartment so there wasn't a lot to do. I can't imagine what would've happened if we had a house and kids together.
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