Reply to DW can't manage or handle her aging dad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What your wife's father did or didn't do for his parents is irrelevant here. Your wife is either unwilling or unable to pull back, and you really need to stop telling her to pull back. She will only do that when she reaches her own decision or breaking point.

That said, what you're experiencing is also valid. You miss her, your marriage is under a tremendous amount of stress, and it's not sustainable. I think you need to see a therapist. It would be great if your wife is willing to join you, but most likely she won't, not yet. So you go by yourself first, and hopefully you can both find a way forward.[/quote]

Thanks for this. I am open to seeing a therapist.

I don't think she knows how close to the edge I am.[/quote]

Are you prepared for the possibility that she'll agree divorce is the best option?[/quote]
If I were the wife, I certainly would. Stress reduced, problem solved.
[/quote]

What is selfish about asking an elderly person with plenty of funds to use the available assisted living bus to a medical appointment or calling Peapod to deliver is groceries instead of his daughter once in a while? Nothing wrong with asking someone to use the easist solution for everyone involved. It's not selfish-- it's practical.

Ok. They divorce and Dad croaks. Now what? DW has abandoned her nuclear family...the family she CHOSE. Because she was unable to create healthy boundaries.[/quote]

Or DW finds someone kinder, more loving and less selfish, marries him, and lives happily ever after.  :D [/quote][/quote]

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