Reply to DW can't manage or handle her aging dad.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "DW can't manage or handle her aging dad."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the crasher above. I'll respond more later. For now please know that you are NOT being selfish and are NOT a bad person for wanting this to be different and less complicated. Not all cases of elder care are easily manageable. Long term medical decline and side effects from medications can leave you with a parent you do not recognize. Mental health issues. Personality or behavior disorders etc.

Tune out the judgement of others. Filter through the posts and pull out the snippets of advice and support. [/quote]

+1.  Ignore the people calling you selfish for not wanting this situation to destroy your wife, and marriage, in the process.  Your FIL sounds like the incredibly selfish one.  I'm sorry I don't have advice for you.  I have not been in your situation personally, although I was involved in my mother's end of life care.  She was nowhere near how you've described your FIL, and yet it was still one of the most stressful periods of my life. AND I had help. Please focus on the posters who are actually trying to help you help your wife. [/quote]

OP, if you have kids and have been through the early years and used daycare or a full-time preschool, you and your wife should know there is no problem with outsourcing help (of course, unless the schools or daycare turned out to be terrible). People are often glad to use outsourced services for small children but when it comes to elderly parents, it's not an option for whatever reason, especially when the parents are kicking and screaming like two-year-olds utilizing the perfectly ok to use assisted living bus to the mall or supermarket. There are various reasons for using a daycare or nursery school-- a full-time job, the need to work extra hours, the need for your child to start socializing and keeping his/her mind engaged, or simply the need to maintain your own sanity. Same goes for dealing with elderly parents. 
[/quote]

I don't think OP and his wife have kids.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics