Reply to I think that my husband wants our kids to be failures

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it is [b]hard to be married to another child.[/b]  I have seen [b]DHs who undermine their wives[/b] entirely, even laughing when she gently corrects or disciplines the children.  It is immature and ridiculous.  [b]If you can't be the parent, then you don't deserve to have kids.[/b]  I feel like telling those friends to divorce and take all the money.  No reason not to (in most cases, the money is the wives' families, anyway). [/quote]

Um this is OP, your description is spot on, including the money thing. I cringed when I read this. He does laugh sometimes. Also, it is no accident that my family and I have the money, we work harder. I never took this into consideration when we married. Never. 
My son is at an age where he is getting more and more out of control. He sees that he has a weak father (son will soon be much much bigger than his father). Already telling his sister (who tells me) that he plans to experiment with drugs. I have told my son that if he uses drugs we will separate as a family and that I will not support him through college. I tell him other things too, so please don't flame me. I do all the anti drug things that parents are supposed to do. But I guess my point is that drug use would be the straw to break my back. [/quote]

[b]my spouse does nothing[/b]. Kids acting up, breaking things, whining, asking for too much - he just ignores it and wonders why they escalate and continue it. he [b]usually caves in[/b] and does whatever they ask for. Been this way for 6 years now of kids. He refuses to do any parenting, [b]zero goals for our kids.[/b]  He hates sports, has no hobbies, has no friends since we moved 10 years ago here. Bizarre.

[b]weak and ineffective father.[/b] I recall him telling stories about how he, his mom and his brother would always ignore his father's crazy non-sensical things.  i work full-time so don't think I could "do everything on earth for the family" while [b]towing a deadweight [/b]like she did. [/quote]

[b]+1

Lots of dads have unresolved issues from their fathers.  It weighs the family down, but I think the dads like emulating their dysfunctional fathers [/b]- it makes them feel complete or "full circle", in a destructive way, but they don't see it like that. [/quote]

agree. sadly agree. [/quote]

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