Reply to Can you accept being "just roommates" with a spouse?

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Reply to "Can you accept being "just roommates" with a spouse?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see why you can't have sex with someone else if you guys decide to treat your marriage as a roommate relationship.  Be discreet and safe, and go get laid.[/quote]

I wish I could. But I'm a terrible liar and wouldn't be able to handle the stress of a double life. [/quote]

So don’t lie about it and no double life.  Just announce to him the marriage is Open. Do you know any attractive men who are married? Assume their wives also don’t have any sex drive. Pick one of those men, or just take your time and enjoy all of them. [/quote]

He wouldn't be OK with that, he thinks everything is normal as long as we don't fight. [/quote]

[b]Who cares what he’s ok with? You aren’t ok as room mates. Even. [/b][/quote]

This makes a lot of sense to me. Seems like you are letting him be the veto player here because of his "strong feelings" that this is normal and you should just accept it. Well, it isn't normal. Honestly it's not. Tell him in your therapy session that you no longer intend to entertain this idea that not having intimacy in married life is normal. It's okay if you want to tell him you would prefer for sex and intimacy to be with him, but add that if he is not interested, you intend to find it elsewhere (if neither of you wants to divorce)[/quote]

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