Reply to How to Move Forward Once You Realize MIL Just Doesn't Like You

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're going to have to let go of the idea that people have to like you and have close relationships with you, just because they're relatives. She is who she is, and the best you can do is to facilitate a low-drama, harmonious relationship, as shallow as it needs to be. [/quote]

This! There are no guarantees that you'll be close or even enjoy each other as people just because you are in-laws. Also, you can't control what other people do, only your actions. Be polite and respectful whenever you interact with her. Just imagine she's a really difficult work client. And let your husband all the interactions with her. If your husband is okay with a more distant relationship, let it be. She's his mother.[/quote]

OP. I have been there as well. And the PP summarizes much of what I have learned over time. I do not have the relationship that I envisioned with my MIL, but she is the MIL I have. We have a superficial, low-drama relationship but my kids who are now grown never picked up on it. They just have nice memories of our family together. Some friends who have very close relationships with their MIL have told me that I am "lucky" to have a simple, cordial relationship with mine. I am not sure what they mean exactly because I haven't walked in their shoes, but I think they were eluding to the fact that with closeness sometimes comes drama? IDK but I took it as a positive and sometimes think that the grass is greener.....[/quote]

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