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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Make him watch "Scared Straight" and infer that's in his future if he doesn't step it up.[/quote]

I see the rationale behind this advice, but please don't do this.  This is a curse.  It's like telling a toddler "don't do x" "don't do y" "don't do z" -- all they really hear is x, y, z.  Just like it's better to say "DO [this other thing you want them to do]," I think OP needs to set up more models of the behavior she wants to see.

It sounds like you're parenting alone, OP.  And again, while I understand why others say dad should come put fear into the kid--I think that will backfire.  If he's not very involved, having someone come in and try to be an authority when he hasn't earned it will just mess the kid up even more.

Since Dad isn't a role model, you've got to fill your kid's life with them.  Even two parent households should do this.  You're doing your best. Keep it up.  Get your DS involved in something he can find interest in and where he can form some mentoring relationships.  That's vital.

Meanwhile, focus on the positive, model what you want to see, praise any positive you see like hell.  Strip away privileges (screens, whatever) and create a situation where he has to earn them.  Nothing is for free in life--except your mother's love.[/quote]

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