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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

1- I am not against the marriage.  I am very happy for him and his GF.  That's why I told him and his GF they should get married,
2- I can't attend the wedding if my wife is not going.  As much as I am happy for my son and his wife to be, she is still my wife,
3- No, my wife and I do NOT plan to live with them when we get older.  In fact, we're ready to give them the house in Great Falls so that we can move into a condo.  My wife is still in shock that his wife to be is not Asians.  I think she will get over it in time, I just don't know how long,
4- I was raised in a culture where parents are never wrong, even when they clearly are.  As a son or daughter, you just have to accept that fact and keep trying.  One day, water will be under the bridge when they see grand children, everything will be good.

I know those days will come.  I just hope those days will come sooner rather than later.  Right now, I am her punching bag and nothing I said matter :-(

thank you all for sharing your thoughts[/quote]

I would absolutely not count on getting to repair everything once there are kids.  No way in hell would I let my kids spend time with someone that shunned me, that's insanity.  I wouldn't trust you out of my sight and earshot and would tolerate short supervised visits but in no way encourage a close relationship between you and my kid.[/quote]

I think I get OP. It's easier for me (Asian myself) to understand. The cultural pull is a lot stronger than people realize. [/quote]

Yes - but the son is marrying a non-asian who doesn't share this culture.  She will not feel compelled to forgive and forget the people that shunned her just because there are kids.  You don't get to treat someone like dirt and then expect them to forgive you when its convenient, certainly not someone that you've never treated like family and doesn't share your culture so they have no reason to treat you like family or share your cultural view back
[/quote]
+1
My aunt learned this the hard way. After strongly disapproving of my cousin's wife she came gushing and cooing when their twins arrived, expecting to be welcomed with open arms. Didn't work that way. They gave her a chance but she was only nice to the kids while being mean to DIL. Cousin and wife have been happily married for almost 20 years. Grandma only has a formal relationship with all of them.[/quote]

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