Reply to Question to SMCs: do you have a compromise job or career?

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Reply to "Question to SMCs: do you have a compromise job or career?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - indeed, it is not a contest. I posted a question to SMCs about their career issues and was curious for their feedback. I am not sure why non SMC single parenting parents have an issue with that. No-one is playing victim here, I just don't understand why you all have a problem with the term SMC or the concept of SMC and an SMC network, and why it bugs you that such a group exists.

And no, PP, as per SMC definition, you are not an SMC, since it was not your choice to become pregnant on your own. I understand that some single Moms like yourself and some of the other PPs did not have a co-parent. A friend of mine's husband recently died and left her with a 7 and 9 year old. So, now she is also a single parent. But she is not an SMC.

SMC was a term I used, that's not what is the most important here. [b]I was curious about how parents who parent alone from day1 are able to balance parenting and career, e.g. if they had to compromise on travel, take a less demanding job with less hours, less travel etc.[/b] Please [b]do not try and tell me that the issue is the same in a two-parent family, because it is not.[/b] My friend in Canada has two little kids under six. She has business trips to the US once in a while and she travels for four days when she does that. Her husband takes care of the kids. This would be much more difficult to do for a single parenting parent without a reliable co-parent. My other friend travels to Asia all the time, for long periods of time. Again, the husband takes care of their kid. Again, a totally single parenting parent could not be able to do this. On the other hand, I have a coworker who is divorced, but has a good arrangement with her ex. So, she can travel without a problem; her ex will take care of the kid. [/quote]

So what is bothering the non-SMC single moms who are responding to you is that they are saying that YES they have had to compromise on their careers, but you're saying "I don't care about what YOU have had to do, I care about SMCs and whether THEY have had to compromise!"

It's really irritating to be told, "We have NOTHING in common you and me!" when we're all sitting here saying, "I can totally relate to that issue!"

As for the bolded, you just told a woman who has been alone SINCE PREGNANCY that she's not the type of person you want to share experiences with, since she's not the RIGHT KIND of "parent alone from day 1" even though she's BEEN parenting alone since day 1.

Single parenting in ALL forms is different from two parent homes - even when there is 50/50 custody or other frequent visitation. [/quote]

This.[/quote]

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