Reply to How to deal with cliquey "mean moms" who are nice but won't become "friends"??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - if you're having that much anxiety over women who you say are nice and polite with you, then I think this is your issue.

I can smell crazy and needy a mile away and, no offense, I don't have time for that. If you want to hang out with them, then ask them what they are doing.

Also - People are allowed to have groups of friends. This is how society works. By creating and nurturing networks. These networks can not include everybody on the planet or it just doesn't work. This isn't being "cliquey" or "mean mom" - it's simply being friends with people you've bonded.

If you're not happy with their group, then make your own group. This is advice I give to my daughters and advice I follow myself. My "group" didn't appear out of thin air. These are friendships that I've been building for years now. You can't expect to just walk in and take a place. Maybe you could look for another mom who seems nervous or is sitting alone and go introduce yourself. Instead of blaming others for your "isolation" maybe you should take responsibility for your own social life.[/quote]

This is the best advice.  You are probably so focused on these women that you are ignoring the other women sitting around by themselves, wishing someone would talk to them.  Go introduce yourself to one of them and go get a coffee.  My kid started school as a "new kid" in a later grade, and a lot of the moms already had established friendships.  Rather than try to break into their groups, I just made my own.  I didn't feel I was being excluded -- there are 80 kids in my son's grade alone, so obviously I can't expect to be invited to all of their dinner parties.  Feels to me like you are still in junior high wishing you can be one of the "popular" kids.  [/quote]

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