Reply to Do you/did you have a child that you viewed as being mediocre?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think any of this means he's going to end up working at Target. BUT what does sneaky mean? He's sneaky about what? Out getting in trouble? Or [b]do you just mean that he'll tell you he did his hw when he hasn't touched it [/b]-- in which case I don't see that as sneaky, so much as lazy.

Is there ANYTHING that interests him? Any chance he's good with his hands/building things? Not every kid HAS to go to college and there are plenty of guys who were C students as best who go to trade school for 6 months, get a job with a contractor and own their own contracting company by age 30 charging $$$$ to re do kitchens or whatever. There are lots of ways to be successful that do not involve a degree from Vassar or Brown or wherever you dreamt your kid would go.[/quote]

[b]OP here. This[/b].

Additionally, I  recently discovered a charge on my cc for a Lyft transaction. I did some inquirying and discovered that he used my credit card to create the Lyft account. He had no plans of telling me until I confronted him. I will frequently give him my credit card to go to the grocery store or to purchase school supplies. Well, apparently he missed the bus for school one day and needed a way there and he opened the Lyft account. [b]I would have totally ok'd the ride and the account, it's just the sneaky way he did it[/b]. 
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OP, I think you need therapy to help you with your feelings toward your son. You opened your post by describing him as the "laziest, sneakiest" and "not brightest" child. Then you list his errors as not doing well in school, saying he has done homework when he hasn't, and not telling you when he used your credit card to get a ride to school. Um, that's not that bad. [b]It sounds like you just don't like him and that kind of thing messes a kid up. [/b]

Might I also propose that perhaps he is not "sneaky" but you guys have a communication problem, for which both of you bear some blame?

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Also, it's bad for you because you have a child but little/no joy in your relationship with him? And that sucks as a parent. A therapist might help you reframe things so that you see him more positively (like when he used the credit card he used persistence to solve a problem, and maybe he didn't tell you because he felt ashamed about missing his ride in the first place). And be more accepting of who he is so you can be less worried and just enjoy him. No, living in your basement is not a good goal, but maybe every other goal he thinks would be acceptable to you feels unattainable so he has given up.

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