Reply to What to do about being the default person in the family?

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[quote=Anonymous]Direct communication. In an email or text, so there is a record:

"Bill, Mary, Jim, I want to talk to you about a dynamic that has been frustrating for all of us, that I think we can improve in the future. Because Jim travels a lot for work, I have become the "default" planner and point of contact. When possible, I encourage plans and communication to come directly from Jim, because I know keeping in touch is important to all of you. But sometimes, when Jim doesn't feel up to a visit or making plans, I feel that there is misplaced resentment and that I am seen as someone who is blocking plans or communication. This is not the case.

From now on, I am stepping out and ALL communication about visits, vacations and logistics needs to happen directly between Jim and his family. I will, of course, still be happy to chat on the phone, send kid pics and talk generally with you, but I will no longer participate in planning or logistics. Thank you for understanding.

Love, Beth"[/quote]

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