Reply to Jealous of pregnant friend

Forum Index » Infertility Support and Discussion

Reply to "Jealous of pregnant friend"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes. There are some women whose identities are absorbed by motherhood and the process of becoming a mother. While recognizing that maybe I'll feel the same way when (if?) my time comes, at the moment I really don't want to spend time with them. [b]It hurts. And I find myself applying weird standards for how 'deserved' I think the pregnancy is. Is she older than me? Has she been with her partner for a long time?   [/b]

I hear you about feeling left behind and the unfairness of it all. This is a suckful and lonely journey. It's so comforting to know that others feel this way. I feel like a monster when all the rage and grief rises up in response to someone else's happiness. [/quote]

This is such helpful feedback. I do find myself applying this same weird standard and feeling like, "why does only she get this, when I should have it too?" I also feel like I should have it first, because I am older. Obviously I can't say this, but I wish I could say to my friend- just give me distance, and I'll let you know when I can be around you again. It feels like she's going out of her way to try to see me, when I honestly don't want to be around her because it just brings up all my grief. It doesn't help that I (irrationally) feel hurt that I hadn't even known she was trying to get pregnant, and then out of the blue it became crystal clear when we were at dinner and she became super awkward around the wine list. We were also supposed to go away together in a few months, and she just awkwardly cancelled the trip with no explanation. Even then, when she knew that I knew she was pregnant, we didn't discuss it for months afterwards, which hurt (although I KNOW, it's her right to not tell me). I know logically that women wait to tell people for so many reasons, and that is completely her business. At the same time, I felt so hurt and shocked.

I'm just counting the days (months) until she goes on maternity, so I don't have the constant reminder. Will it most likely be easier or harder once she has a baby? For some reason I'm extremely jealous of what's happening with her body. She just looks so damn beautiful as a pregnant woman, and of course, is constantly smiling and telling people how excited she is. I hate being in so much pain. When will it end? [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics