Reply to If you're married but still carry a torch for someone

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you're married but still carry a torch for someone"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here and mine is early 50s. We met when I was 20 and began a serious relationship when I was 23 which lasted for several years when I was in Europe. Besides my DH he was the only man I have ever thought about marrying. At that young age we did not have the skills to make it work long-term and broke up a few years later. I never got over him. He recently contacted me. We are both married now and I sigh at what could have been. I love my husband and am happy in my marriage but I get weepy thinking how pure those young love feelings were.[/quote]

When I read a post like this one, I always wonder how the poster would feel if they read that their DH/DW carried a major torch for someone else.  OP - how would you feel if you knew that your DH would "sigh" when he thinks of what might have been with another woman?  Do you know already (e.g., has he told he carries a torch for someone)?  Would it hurt your feelings?

On one hand, I know that my DW dated and loved before me.  So it is reasonable to expect she still feels "something" for her past boyfriends and I think this is normal.  I believe she feels the same about my past.

However, the idea of carrying a torch implies feelings that are still present and that would present a problem.[/quote]

OP here.  I think of him only sporadically but the feelings are there.  I mourn the end of our relationship and what could have been.  If we were both ever single again I would contact him.  I refuse to see him now (he's asked) because I am equally afraid that the spark would be there and that it wouldn't.  I also think a lot about what I was like when I was younger (I think I'm having a midlife crisis moment).  I was struck by the thread that running now asking people about their ages when they met their spouse and then married.  I never wanted to get married early (I was the 36 year old who replied) but judging from all the 20 somethings who replied I see that we very well could have made a life together at that age.  My DH cheated on me once when I was at a low point in my personal life--he fooled around with a co worker on a business trip who exposed him to an STD that he unknowingly exposed me to while I was pregnant with our first child.  What's worse?  Strong feelings in your mind or real actions that happen without a lot of thought?  [/quote]

Your "low point" and torch you carry for someone else was probably apparent. Do you really think "strong feelings" in your mind are not obvious to him? Amazing how women think this stuff isnt obvious.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics