Reply to If you're married but still carry a torch for someone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here and mine is early 50s. We met when I was 20 and began a serious relationship when I was 23 which lasted for several years when I was in Europe. Besides my DH he was the only man I have ever thought about marrying. At that young age we did not have the skills to make it work long-term and broke up a few years later. I never got over him. He recently contacted me. We are both married now and I sigh at what could have been. I love my husband and am happy in my marriage but I get weepy thinking how pure those young love feelings were.[/quote]

When I read a post like this one, I always wonder how the poster would feel if they read that their DH/DW carried a major torch for someone else.  OP - how would you feel if you knew that your DH would "sigh" when he thinks of what might have been with another woman?  Do you know already (e.g., has he told he carries a torch for someone)?  Would it hurt your feelings?

On one hand, I know that my DW dated and loved before me.  So it is reasonable to expect she still feels "something" for her past boyfriends and I think this is normal.  I believe she feels the same about my past.

However, the idea of carrying a torch implies feelings that are still present and that would present a problem.[/quote]

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