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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Here's another example.  When I was little,[b] I would occasionally have a friend over to play, but my mother viewed this as a chance to keep me busy and out of her hair so she could have time to herself.  [/b]

My kids are 2 and 4 and when I told her we don't do drop off playdates yet she was shocked.  She was stunned that I have to "entertain the mother too" instead of "having time to myself" when we do playdates.  She viewed entertaining the mother has a burden.

I view playdates as a chance to have fun, and most importantly build community for my kids by making family friends with the other family--both parents usually come to the playdate.  But it's a chance for me to make friends, build community, and make friends for my kids.  In contrast, my father never ever would have taken me to a playdate or birthday party when I was growing up, let alone stayed for the duration, and my parents never had families over for anything.  They had lots of adults only dinner parties, but I was expected to stay in my room and not come out during the party.[/quote]

To be fair, once your kids are in elementary school, that's what playdates are--it's not the norm for parents to stick around.  When I was growing up, it wasn't the norm, either.  Playdates were for kids, not parents.

My parents weren't "fun" as in "trying to be their kids' friends."  They were fun in the sense that they did participate in kid-centered stuff and try to make it special--helping us with Halloween costumes, decorating the tree for Christmas, etc.  And our vacations were chosen with kids in mind.  My mom certainly altered her repertoire of meals, but she didn't make only "kid food," and there weren't that many "kid-friendly" restaurants, either, because eating out was less common.  Kid-friendly probably meant fast food or Denny's-type places.  Parents didn't play with their kids that much--the culture was just different.  My parents had adult-only parties--I actually think those were more common.  Families would be invited to a backyard BBQ, but not a dinner party.  I think adults used to expect to lead more adult lives, and kids weren't expected to be included in everything.  [/quote]

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