Reply to What if you picked wrong in your 20s?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What if you picked wrong in your 20s?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll offer up my story here. I met my husband at 18, started dating him at 20, married him at 22, which was about 20 years ago. We have four children.  We met at our Northeast Ivy League undergrad and were definitely in the minority when we got married so young. We moved to the West Coast for graduate school (professional school for him). I worked for a couple years in my field then started having kids. I was done having kids by 32. At 34 I went and got a second graduate degree and changed fields entirely, returning to work full time at 35. So I’ve been back working for seven years now. I definitely spent several years feeling like I was behind my friends professionally, but I made up the lost ground over time, especially as many of my peers cut back when they had kids. The marriage has been strong and healthy, though the first couple years were a bit rockier. He was definitely the right choice for me and we’ve grown up together. I’m much more driven now than I was when I was a young mom, and he’s stepped up his role to allow me to go after my goals. It’s a role reversal. I don’t know that I would have made a better choice if I had waited until my 30s. I think the key to a happy life and partnership has little to do with age at marriage— it’s about accepting that there will be ups and downs, tolerating each other’s unevenness, accepting that neither of you will always be at your peak, and just staying constant in your love for each other. You may have sexual dry spells or someone might have a year where they struggle with situational depression or one of you might lose your job or get relocated or experience some other upheaval. Whether you deal with infertility or a miscarriage or the death of a parent or whatever, life isn’t easy. Find happiness for yourself, don’t expect anyone else to make you happy. Have your own interests and goals, but view marriage as a forever proposition and spend quality time with your spouse. Treat them the way you want to be treated. Do your best to stay physically connected too. Then it won’t matter if you chose the person in your 20s or 30s— you’ll make it.[/quote]

Thank you for posting this - much needed perspective.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics