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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Abusive Spouses Really Surprised When You File for Divorce? "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]11:34 here again. I was so shocked by the first response I forgot to respond to OP. Yes, they’re often surprised because they don’t feel like they’ve done anything wrong. They feel like the wronged party. They see the abuse as a normal response to whatever set them off, and as the victim’s fault. For example, if you’d been on time, dressed appropriately, not burned dinner, etc, they wouldn’t need to call names, withhold affection, become violent. Of course, that’s nonsense, but people who are abusive aren’t coming from an emotionally heathy place to start with. So yeah, it’s often shocking to them that someone wouldn’t tolerate their behavior. It’s also very shocking for them to realize they’ve lost control over the other person. [/quote] This was my XH. To be honest, I shocked myself when I filed. I was 6 mos pregnant. My baby saved us both.[/quote]
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