Reply to Does alimony still happen in VA?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can understand that not working could be a marital perk if the marriage does not produce offspring.

However if one spouse quits his/her career in order to remain @home, providing all the childcare, then I see this as a disadvantage rather than an actual “perk.”

Leaving the work force does not bode well for anyone.
Doing so leaves a gap on your resume + it is not easy later on when you re-enter.

Plus daily childcare is a lot more work than working outside of the home.
Caring for little ones is a ton of mental/physical energy which can be very taxing on anyone.
Plus the loss of personal satisfaction along w/the isolated lifestyle may not be for everyone.

That being said, I do acknowledge that each + every situation will be completely different.[/quote]

A non-working spouse is only possible during marriage due to the mutual support. My wife cleans and folds my underwear, cooks dinner, and other things I can't mention on non-explicit. Would you expect the courts to force her to do those post divorce? If not, why shouldn't she get a job? Is it fair that all of my support ends, but hers continue?

In your scenario, alimony would be awarded to allow that non-working person to get back into the workforce and become self supporting. You seem to conflate the purpose of alimony with that of child support. Everybody loses personal satisfaction, and lifestyles change during a divorce.[/quote]

When one spouse is at home, the other spouse is able to be much more devoted to work pursuits than when both spouses are working paid jobs. The spouse being paid can be much more successful in the career than if that spouse did not have the other spouse taking care of everything at home. The spouse at home has given up career possibilities for the good of the family while the spouse being paid has been able to continue to enjoy career progression.

After 30 years, the spouse who has enjoyed greater career success in part because of the unpaid work done by the at home spouse should provide some kind of compensation to the at home spouse. The at home spouse will never be able to reach the same kind of career success as the paid spouse because of the long amount of time of unpaid work at home. The at home spouse will be at the bottom rung of the career ladder and will also be facing age discrimination, so it is only right  for that spouse to receive compensation. 
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You're dreaming. Once the kids are in school what would you be doing for the rest of the 30 years?

Agree with PP, if someone else is paying your rent, food and all other expenses for 30 years, why would you expect more compensation than that?[/quote]

When a couple divides their duties up so one works outside the home for pay and rhe other does the work of home and family for no pay, the one working outside the home has the advantage of not needing to worry about the details of the care and maintenance of the home life. That partner doesn't have to buy or cook food, doesn't have to meet the repair person, doesn't have to stay home with sick children, and doesn't have to drive children to after school lessons and teams. Sure, the partner who works for pay can be invoked with any or all of these activities, but never needs to worry about them when something is pressing at work. Being able to focus on career without distraction can be a big contribution to success in that career.

People who divide the duties of home and family in this way don't think of it as one person paying for everything. They see it as both partners doing the work necessary to live their lives and both make valuable contributions. The partner working for pay has more career success because of the contributions of the partner doing the work at home.  The partner who has worked for 30 years without pay and contributed to the success of the partner with a paying job should receive some recognition and compensation for those contributions. 
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