Reply to What would you do? 20 yo almost 21 yo cousin wants to live with us?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thank you all for your replies.

I feel like I should say the first time he lived with us was years ago when the oldest was a baby and we were not prepared to care for an infant and a traumatized teenager at the same time. He was running away, smoking pot, abusing otcs, stealing etc.
The legal trouble was from when he tried to defend his mother against her boyfriend at the time, again also when he was a teen.

Though we don't need the rent if he were to live with us , there is no way we can afford to rent a place for him to live. 
I also don't think he would stay in a halfway house. He was in a group home as a teen and ran away twice.

His mother won't have him she's gotten herself together and "moved on with her life."

So I really feel like DH and I are all he has. He's been on and off about contact the last few years with sporadic phone calls mostly when drunk or high. We always told him we would be there for him if  he wanted us to . I wonder if saying no now makes us liers.   He's had no one to depend on  and I hate to think we're letting him down again.[/quote]

It's sad that he has had a rough life it is, but you cannot change his childhood. You also cannot put your children's childhood at risk for your cousin. You can love him but love him from a distance.[/quote]

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