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[quote=Anonymous]Ah ha!  OP!  I hope you read my post.  I think I know exactly what is happening.  Your ex (Thank goodness you went no-contact!  Good job!) was most likely an emotionally abusive narcissist.  Him trying to get back with you is a technique they call "hoovering."  Sucking you right back in like a vaccuum cleaner. Google it, if you think I am nuts.

You felt such chemistry with your ex, because he orchestrated it to be that way.  It is called "love bombing."  They are so good at all of it.  Jerks.  He was faking it.  It wasn't really. If you feel that kind of chemistry with someone, it is likely with a selfish person, probably a narcissist, who is not going to treat you well.  They have charisma.  They are amazing in the beginning.  But they treat you like crap.  I don't believe that mind-blowing chemistry is real or attainable any longer.

Stick with the man you have now.  If he is a good man, you will have a much happier life.  Find ways to appreciate the kind of good man he is.  After leaving my narcissistic, selfish, (what I now learned is) abusive ex (after the kid), I pray that one day I will find one of these such men.  He doesn't have to be the cutest, the smartest, the funniest, the most successful, or the one that rocks my world.  He just has to be a good, kind, loving and equal partner.  I am happy that you found this.

Hopefully this man will be someone who will take care of the house with you, take care of the children with you, buy you birthday presents and plan fun outings for you both, not cheat on you, not abuse you, and work with you so that you both have a happy life and are fulfilled.

The men with the best chemistry aren't those men. Forget the chemistry.  [/quote]

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