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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, when they complain that your parents see the kids more often, your ILs are giving you the perfect opportunity to ask for their help.  When they complain, say, "You're right, Barbara, my parents have been with the kids a lot helping us with X because we've got a lot on our plates with the kids' chronic health problems and Bill being away for work a good bit of the time.  Do you think you and FIL could come (fill in days/times) and help with Y?  The kids and I would love your help and support and I know you'd be proud to see how the kids are handling their illness."  Put it right back on them.[/quote]

This. my in laws don’t complain to me but we’re frustrated they didn’t get to see dd as much as my parents for a bit. Dh was out of town for a long time. So we asked if they could come over once a week and bring dinner or pickup takeout i would order. They have done that for 6 months now. And they know if anything, they still get to see dd at least once a week and find out how everything is. It’s led to a better relationship with her and with me and i am not shy asking for help when needed (need to leave for work early or stay late or some sort of event etc) and they know my life closer and can offer specific things (picking up at grocery store or a Costco run). [/quote]

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