Reply to Allowing adult son to move back in? What is fair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you sure you're not overestimating how easy it is to get a job in his field? Jobs are not exactly falling off the tree for 23-year-olds with a bachelors degree and no real experience. You're sounding like you think you own him because you paid for his college education.

However, he's 23 and been living on his own.  A curfew is a non-starter.  Respect for the occupants of the house (not making a huge noise, no parties without consulting with you etc, no extreme messes) is fair request.[/quote]

+1. If he were 27 my answer would be different, but plenty of people live with their parents (for free, I might add) at 23 to save money. You sound kind of disgusted toward him - is there something else going on? I’m not saying coddle him, but the examples you gave of buying a cheap car, going on a family vacation (?) etc don’t seem like he’s living an extravagant lifestyle to begin with. If your biggest issue is that he hasn’t gotten a job in his field, well it’s harder than you think nowadays.

[b]I just don’t get this attitude, sorry. My parents did everything they could to set me up for success at that age[/b] and since you live in a wealthy upper NW neighborhood it doesn’t sound like this is a money thing. [/quote]

Major +2 to this. What exactly is underneath this, is there more going on that's influencing your spiteful attitude? Good jobs are not falling off the shelf for 23 year olds, it's harder than when you graduated. The world is more expensive as well. Stop seeing your son like a child and start trying to get to know him as an adult, trying to build his life and navigate the world. Could NOT agree more with the bolder [/quote]

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