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[quote=Anonymous]OP— I don’t know your specifics or your backstory. But I know that single parents without an X in the same state are often stretched thin. And that you get more flies with honey.

You are likely to get further working with your X-DIL than trying to do an end run around her.  So figure out where she needs help and offer to help.  Be available to come over and babysit so she can workout, watch a sick child when she needs to work, or watch a child on snow days or teacher workdays. While you are there, run some laundry or throw something in the crockpot.  Because at the end of the day, coming home to a home cooked meal makes anyone happy.  Become someone who your grandchild loves to spend time with, and who makes her life easier, and hopefully she will become more and more receptive to having you spend time with your grandchild.

And you know this, But don’t bad mouth your X DIL to your grandchild. Or act passive aggressive, or critical. If you go over and the house is a disaster, hold the judgment in check.

You are very, very unlikely to get what you want by Court order here. And if you do, it will cost a lot. In terms of money, but also in terms of bridges burnt that you can never rebuild. And mom can absolutely make sure your grandchild hates you. So, rose above, and love your grandchild enough to work with your X DIL.

And FFS, do not tape phone calls. In come states, two party consent is needed and taping is a crime. [/quote]

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