Reply to Is it weird that I don’t want to change my last name?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I took DH's name. Most of my friends took their husband's name. We are all educated, upper middle class women. Most of my friends from college (Ivy league if you must know) took their husband's name as well. I actually read not long ago that the rising generation of young women are more likely to take the husband's name compared to my particular generation (I am 37). I don't know how true it is. I personally have no strong feelings on the subject because a last name is just a last name, and my maiden name was my father's name, not my mother's, so I wasn't fussed about making a point.

But, and I reiterate this, but, no one really cares. Just do what you want to do. If you are judged then that says much about the person judging you, not you.

[/quote]

It always amazes me when people say "well my last name was my father's name" as if that means something, or makes your name less meaningful. However you got it, your last name was YOUR name. The one you used throughout your whole childhood and through to early/mid adulthood (depending on how old you were when you got married).

If you wanted to change your name because you didn't like it, or your father deeply hurt you and you wanted to cut all symbolic ties with your father for some reason, then just say that. But don't act like your name wasn't that important because it happened to be the name your father has/had. That just sounds ridiculous.

And actually, despite "not wanting to make a point", you did make a point. You were the one who actually took action and changed your own name from what it always was to your husband's name. That says a lot more about you than you seem to think. I think it's the women who keep their own name after getting married who aren't making a point.[/quote]

I'm well aware of all the not so subtle implications you made in your post. You should reread my last sentence. No one cares. Just do what makes you happy. If an instinct says no, then don't change. If an instinct says change, then change. I suspect for most women they are not bothered because they aren't making a point either way and are happy to go with convention out of history and tradition and a notion that it's nice for the entire family to share the same last name. And a name is just a name. Most people are not ideological. [/quote]

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