Reply to grandma's been badmouthing our house to DS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a "when they go low, we go high" moment. You clearly can't say anything bad to your kid about his grandma because he'll definitely repeat it back to her. And really, dirty windows... so what?[/quote]

+1000  Windows, schmindows!  Whenever he comes at you with something like this, you smile at him and say happily (not snarkily) "Oh, that Grandma!  [b]That's why we love her! [/b] Now, Laslo, tell me about your day.  Did you...?".  Practice in front of a mirror until you get it right.  You will be setting the tone for all future interactions![/quote]

What is why we love her, exactly? Because she's a snarky witch who always makes snide comments? I think that's actually a horrible way to raise children. Maybe this is why everyone keeps telling us that our kids are so lovely - we'd never EVER say that. Next thing you know, your son would be walking into someone's house with an air of arrogance remarking that the windows are filthy. Is that really what you want?

Anyway, to the first PP here, so what if he repeats it back to her? [b]I'd absolutely say to my child, "unfortunately Grandma hasn't learned yet how to be polite, and that it's nasty to make rude comments about things that are none of her business". [/b]If it gets back to her, that's fine. It's nothing I wouldn't say directly to her face. And actually I would probably raise it directly with her anyway. I wouldn't want my children getting the message that behavior like that is even acceptable, let alone something to be admired.[/quote]

Yikes.  You sound lovely.  What a wonderful role model you are for your child.  Sigh.[/quote]

From all reports, I'm a wonderful mother and our kids are wonderful too, so your sighs and sarcasm aren't warranted.

FYI "lovely" isn't the same as doormat. There's nothing wrong with explaining that inappropriate behavior is inappropriate. In fact, if more parents did this then I'd be willing to bet that kids would be much better behaved these days. When these situations come up, it's better to do that than just ignoring it or, worse still, actually glamorizing it as the PP suggested. You can't tell your kids one thing while they see the respected adults in their lives do the total opposite.[/quote]

I guess "wonderful" is subjective then.  Because I don't think that you are a "wonderful" mother if you are teaching your child that responding to a rude response with a rude response is okay.  But you do what you're going to do and the rest of us will think what we think.  The PP was not "glamorizing" it, she was teaching her child that you accept what someone is saying and move on.  The PP's response accepted her mother as she is and was training her child to do the same.  It is a shame that you can't see this.[/quote]

DP. I can’t disagree enough. I think it’s perfectly fine to teach kids boundaries and that when others say rude and hurtful things, we don’t have to lie down and take it. We teach others how to treat us. Allowing people to continue to make nasty remarks to us or about us to our children teaches them it’s ok to keep doing it. [/quote]

Well, bless your heart.  But I guess that you would be proving that you are indeed your mother's daughter if that is the way that you would respond to your mother and that is the way you are teaching your children to respond to their grandmother.  What a charming family you must all be![/quote]

Telling a child that their grandmother (or anyone else who just made a nasty and totally uncalled for remark) acted inappropriately isn't wrong.

Maybe you should go back and read your response(s) and you'll see that you're the one who's been insulting people, making sarcastic rude remarks about them and their families. You're starting to give the impression that you're one of the people always making nasty remarks and expecting everyone else to put up with it.

Not cool. And definitely not setting a good example for your child(ren).[/quote]

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