Reply to When do you stop feeling like an outsider as an inlaw?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My in laws still do that thing during holiday photo time where the children’s spouses have to step out of the frame for some of the pictures, so that it is just the grandparents’ blood relatives (never mind that grandma and grandpa aren’t actually blood relatives).  All spouses have been married for at least 15 years.

So I don’t get too comfortable- I know what lies beneath.[/quote]

That’s like every photo in my ILs homes: just them, their sons and their grandchildren.
Meanwhile my parents put up our family of four and my brothers family of four.

I swear, if an outsider visited the ILs house they’d assume the adult sons were widowed or divorced...[/quote]

Whats wrong with parents wanting a picturing with their own kids?  They were a nuclear family originally and why spouses etc should be included in some pics, I see nothing wrong with leaving them out of others[/quote]

They gained a DIL. She is part of their family now. It's abusive to leave an inlaw off. [/quote]

Thats absurd - I have no problem if my ILs want a picture of them and their 3 sons without me.  People take pictures of all sorts of configurations (mothers and daughters without dad, siblings and spouses without parents) there is nothing wrong with having a configuration of the group that was the original "family" within that family.  [/quote]

+1.  I always offer to take a photo or two of DH's family plus our kids - there are plenty with me in them but I'm sure they want a few of just their kids and grandkids.  It doesn't bother me a bit and I'm not sure why it would?  Do they otherwise treat you unkindly and the photo feels like an extra way for them to exclude you?  [/quote]

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