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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The running wouldn't necessarily bother me- I could see myself working out with a guy friend- but the fact that he mentioned he finds her attractive and their texts are a big red flag. The only time I've ever heard men say "hey gorgeous" to a woman is when they are interested, and women find that creepy unless they are also interested.

He may have good intentions at this point but this is one of those things that can slip into an affair while everyone is in denial. [/quote]

OP here again. Just to clarify. Those texts messages I mentioned were from her to him. He doesn't seem to send anything to her like that at all. Mostly generic stuff about the run, the miles, weather, etc. [/quote]

Here's what's happening.  The young woman is sort of feeling him out for relationship possibility.  It's kind of a grooming thing.  She'll just stay friends with him and see where it leads.  Worst case scenario for her is she has a running partner.  Or she has plausible deniability that she's not hitting on him because what she is saying is not clearly over the line in a sexual way.

He may not have any attention of an affair.  But, you really need to point out to him that the way he is playing this is a bit unfair to both the runner friend and to you.  He is using this girl runner friend to feed his own ego.  He is not being fair to you because he is demonstrating that he doesn't view it as his responsibility to set clear boundaries for the behavior of others around him (again the plausible deniability).  It is his job to say, "Hey running friend, I really enjoy running with you but calling me gorgeous makes me uncomfortable given that I am happily married. Thanks."

This, to me, also makes him vulnerable to sexual harassment charges, or it could be considered her harassing him depending on the facts of their freelance project work together.

You should talk to him about it in this sense, not in the sense of "I think you are/aren't having/heading to an emotional/sexual affair." [/quote]

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