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[quote=Anonymous]
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Sometimes he’ll shoot me a text saying “wrapping up” at 7:30, but I don’t think he leaves right then because he doesn’t get home until 9/9:30 or so. But I don’t spend a lot of time responding and asking, because that means more time on the computer/phone and a later time to leave.

I don’t know, I feel like I’ve tried everything from giving him a hard time about it (this was three jobs ago), to just letting him do his own thing (now).  But this doens’t feel like a marriage to me. I know he’s driven and he definitely has gotten promotions that his co-workers haven’t gotten, but it’s not like he makes [b]that[/b] much more money to be working as late as he does. 
[b]
I see couples doing things together after work and feel so envious of them. Hell, I was even jealous when I saw all the families trick or treating together after work. For the last three years, I’ve come home for Halloween and shut my lights off. I gave out Halloween candy once, but it felt sad doing it by myself and our street isn’t very popular for TOT’s anyway. Yes, I could go out and make more friends to do stuff with, but what was the point of getting married then?[/b][/quote]

You need to tell him this in a non-accusatory way. Just explain your feelings -- that you would like to do things together with him after work, that you envy marriages where the spouses are friends and enjoy hanging out together. He may need more alone time than you, but you guys have to find a compromise that makes you both happy. It sounds like you are not happy with the balance right now. Try talking to him about this, and see how he reacts. If he reacts negatively or no resolution comes of it, discuss the issue in therapy (you may have to try a couple therapists to find one that you both can work well with). If he won't go to therapy at all, start thinking about divorce. [/quote]

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