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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents argue a lot and when I was around 11 or 12 I asked them to please wait until I was out of the house to get divorced.  I'm not sure why I asked them that, it may have just been that i didn't want my family to fall apart.   They didn't have many large arguments in front of the kids, they just seemed to bicker as their preferred method of communication.

When I was in my 20s, my father complained to me that my mother drove him crazy but that he knew that he could never afford to divorce her.  They're both horrible with finances and tend to say "well he/she just wasted money on X, so I'm going to go ahead and spend more on Y".  My mother has issues with anxiety and would have a very hard time handling life completely on her own.  We just realized that my father is probably ADHD inattentive which explains a lot of his issues with relationships and focus in general.

In an interesting way, they have come up with a fairly decent solution where my father has retired to MD and my mother to FL and while they both spend time together they spend the majority of it apart.  They do clearly miss each other when they're apart but they're back to bickering within 12 hours (usually less) of being together again.  They are very similar in many ways and constantly complain that the other one won't listen.

I didn't realize that my family was somewhat dysfunctional as I was growing up, but as a young adult it became clearer.  I am glad that my parents stayed together because they have helped ease each other's burdens in times of need (mom caring for my dad's father when he needed it, etc) and I honestly don't believe that either of them would have any better relationship with anyone else.  I hope that they don't resent me for asking them to stay together, but from things that they have said I don't think that they do.  FWIW I also don't think that they stayed together just for the kids' sake.

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This sounds like a nice set up. Good for them for still caring about each other...it seems like they've found their ways to thrive together, albeit apart.[/quote]

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