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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Been married for six years (together for almost eight) with a four year old daughter.  Over the years my wife and I have grown apart, I can't deny that.  We've discussed our marriage and the issues we have, to the point where we discussed separating (discussed, not argued).  The bottom line is, and we both agree, that we are just different people now.  I'm more extrovert and she's become anti-social.  We don't have the same interests anymore (compared to when we were dating).  Everything has changed.  When we got married I became more serious and mature, she stayed the same.  Now, with a kid it's become a problem with our marriage.

She's a stay at home mom and our daughter is great.  Very smart, mature and highly social.  We send our daughter to pre-school/day care for six hours a day so she can socialize and it gives my wife time to herself for whatever (errands, shopping, cleaning the house, free time, etc).  Recently, I've discussed joining a country club because I want our daughter to take up tennis and create new friends.  I've been very fortunate to do well in my career.  When discussing joining the country club my wife says "I won't do anything there, it's just for you and our daughter".  For years I've tried to get my wife to become more social, to make some friends.  But, every chance she gets she doesn't.  I'm very frustrated because I can't imagine not wanting to be part of a place where you can meet people and at the same time your kid can play sports and meet new friends (since she's an only child).

She's not opposed to joining, she's just doesn't want anything to do with socializing.  Her main hobby is shopping - literally.  She would rather stay at home on the internet/iPhone than go out and socialize with other moms or people.  I don't know what to do anymore, every turn she becomes more anti-social and I know down the line it's going to impact my daughter who is VERY outgoing.  If I had to bet I would say we will likely separate within the next two years.  We're in our 40s and we have discussed separating several times.  It's so hard coming home to a house where your spouse and you don't agree on almost anything.  We even disagree on how to raise our daughter!  That's the worse part.

I don't know why I'm posting here.  Perhaps I need to vent and parts of my life I don't care to vent to my friends.  Now, the question is do I join the country club and take my daughter to her classes myself and use the club myself?  Is it worth it considering my marriage not work?  Do I do it just for my daughter?  [/quote]

I could have written this... I sympathize OP. My DH has gotten so anti-social as the years pass. I try not to let it get to me, but if I am being honest, it does. I knew he was on the reserved side when we married but it's gone to another level over the 12 years we've been together.
He works from home, so he's alone all day. All of his hobbies are solitary activities. He moved to our town from another state as an adult, so he has no old friends. He has a best friend that he converses with online that lives where he grew up. I am highly social and extroverted and have an easy time making friends and being in public. All of our couple friends, are friendships I've cultivated. He never ever makes plans for us. He has almost no contact with his family. DD and I are his life. I have a good sized family that I'm close to. He's around them often but he complains about them and say they bug him. Its gotten a bit better recently as he's gotten closer with some of my girlfriends husbands. But there were years where there was no one. 
I don't know what to do either. Sometimes it drives me crazy and i wonder how i married someone so polar opposite of myself. 
On the flip side, do i want a happy marriage? yes. He's a good loving man that works hard and is a great father. I never have to wonder where he is. He's not out late with the boys (though i wish he would sometimes) doing distasteful things that make me worry. 
It could be a lot worse. 
I vote for joining the Country Club. We also belong to one and I make use of the membership very frequently and he does not. I realize I have to stop pushing things on him that make me happy, and accept that he doesn't feel the same way.
Good Luck.[/quote]

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