Reply to old friend dropped bombshell - would love your insights

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Silence is not friendship. I wonder if your friend hoped her silence would lead to you begging her for "why" she's been silent. Even if not, it's a better sign of a true friend if she'd have reached out to say that she was hurt by the visit she'd had with you in the past, giving you a chance then to perhaps apologize or at least understand her feelings.  A true friend doesn't wait 10 years to put you in your place. It sounds like you've lived a fine life for the last 10 years without this person. Some friendships aren't meant to last a lifetime, and I've had some of those, too. We all make mistakes. Please forgive yourself (and her) for being imperfect humans and you can continue to live your life the best you can. [/quote]

I reached out a couple of times - think I mentioned - congratulating her on some life milestones, etc.  Radio silence.  She acknowledged that when we met - received them but chose not to respond.  Okay, got that.  Agree with you and some of the other PPs that even if she were hurt, she should have raised the issue, cleared the air, and see how I responded.  Basically she "sentenced" me without having any conversation over what happened.  Seeing more clearly that this fits in with what felt like her judging me when we met (as well as in the past).  Part of me wants to ask, "if you think I'm not worthy, why are you even bothering with this?"[/quote]

I think you are getting really good support here.  I do wonder why she did even bother?  Did you get any sense?  Does she want to rekindle the friendship?  Did she want to come clean?  How did you all leave things?  Was it left as she may (or may not?) contact you again, or you may contact her?  For pete's sake, did she even appreciate you reaching out in the past, or did she even acknowledge missing these past events in your life (your losses, or even any positive things, like you acknowledged her positive things)?

How did you even know of her positive milestones?  Through mutual friends?

I just find this so weird.  And I'm getting angry on your behalf.  I've experienced both - reestablished contact after a long period of disconnect (without either of us airing greivances - just a slow reestablishment), and an "I miss you can't we work this out" type after a blow up.  This seems to fall into an entirely different category!    [/quote]

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