Reply to Men: does a woman playing hard to get really work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy here.  For me, and if i were younger and if I just wanted to sleep with you (i.e., short term fling of sorts), then perhaps.

But I'm just too far removed from the post-college scene to be playing games. I'm a single dad, early 40s with a great high income career.  I am only interested in women who want a serious relationship. This means a mature woman who knows what she wants and doesn't play childish games.[/quote]

I get that but the thing is that a serious relationship unfolds and grows naturally, that means over time. You can't press a button or announce that ok, starting today we are in a serious relationship.  It has to build up. You cannot fast-track closeness or intimacy -if you feel close and intimate quickly, that means you're projecting your own ideas onto a person vs. seeing a real person.  Wanting a serious relationship doesn't mean going on all cylinders immediately.  if a relationship is meant to be serious, it will grow to that point naturally over time. [/quote]

you're right of course.  But the other PP who very clearly stated the difference of playing hard to get vs. wanting to be pursued is at the thrust of what I was getting at as well.  What I've seen is that women who are serious about finding the right person, will put out the vibe of "wanting to be pursued".  In my experience, this has meant that we both have put on the best version of ourselves while on dates, planned thoughtful dates, engaged in real conversations, etc.  To me, that's how a serious relationship would be able to develop.

I've had a bunch of first dates with the other type of woman as well - i.e., the type that screams "prove to me that you are worthy of my time".  Thanks, but not thanks.  I'm not interested in playing this childish mind games, trying to win someone over with gifts and displays of my wealth or ability to afford nice things for her benefit or to take out to the hot new restaurant or whatever is the "in" thing to do in DC at the moment.[/quote]

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