Reply to House hunting is driving me nuts - DH and I are at an impasse.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "House hunting is driving me nuts - DH and I are at an impasse. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Also, Your plan to eventually buy up (with what downpayment?) and generate income on the starter rental is a) not your money to invest, it's his and, b) doesn't work out for a lot of folks, for various reasons, and is by no means a sure thing.  Why don't you put your energy towards earning more income, like looking into grad school or changing careees? Your income seems quite low for the area especially since you have invested heavily in your education.  I get that you have been on your own, and give you full credit (so was I, it's not easy, I know.)  But that doesn't mean the money he's saved is now yours to gamble with on an idea he's not really keen on, no matter how convinced you are it's a sure thing.  And yes, home ownership can be a big gamble.  Most of my friends have lost 20% on starter homes.  And boy are there some rental horror stories.  And, frankly, he's being kind to humor your idea when you haven't exactly shown money-making prowess thus far.  Stop trying to fix him and rely on him at the same time.  Be your own best investor.  Good luck. [/quote]

Honestly I feel your have some issues in your marriage if he is a stickler that this money is 'his' money. [/quote]

I called it his money, (who knows how op's dh sees it) because he saved it up before they were married by living with his parents.  Legally, there is a big difference.  In fact, if she left him tomorrow, she would have no right to that money, but if they buy a house together, and she leaves soon after that, she can demand half of it.  I don't believe in pre-nups, but at a minimum she needs to respect his concerns regarding the investment of the money.  Instead, she sounds like she feels entitled to the money, implying she would have similar if only she had the 'luxury' of living at home.  Maybe, but likely not, given the low salary she has (why is it so low?)  And Most people don't see it as a 'luxury' to live with your parents.

He sounds like a deliberate and conscientious saver who made some sacrifices to save that money.  Lucky for op that she snagged him, given her debts and relatively low salary.  Kind of ridiculous that she wants to use his money to invest in what amounts to a real estate property scheme when she clearly has no idea how or whether it would pay off.  She thinks she's losing money by paying rent (I disagree, mortgage int deductions are a drop in the bucket relative to fees, maintenance...and don't get me started on counting on equity) -ok, then, what could she qualify for with her own salary and savings?  Heck even double that, he uses half his savings and half his income.  Would she be looking to buy then?  Doubt it.  What she should be doing is trying to increase her own salary to afford the life she wants to aim for.

Btw, if this were a woman telling us her dh wants to invest her 50k life savings in a starter home that they will later try to rent out, and that he makes less than half her income, so she would be the one on the hook for the mortgage, I suspect many people would be advising her against it.  Asymmetrical income marriages can be very risky for the high earner.  Similar thing happened to a good female friend of mine who now pays alimony to her ex (cheating) dh.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics