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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry to hijack a bit, but does anyone know how the division, alimony and child support change if DH is working, but I am still primary earner? What if my income alone is just enough to pay for rent, daycare, food on my own - am I still facing having to pay HIM support? Assume I get primary custody (I'll fight tooth and nail for it), and his income is enough for him to live on alone, how could a court force me to pay him, which would close to impoverish me?

And we have no assets other than tiny 401(k), but a lot of debt. I'd have to give half my 401(k) and future pension, but take half the debt and live like a pauper with my kids? I don't see a way out for me.[/quote]

Assuming he wants it, and he doesn’t beat the kids, you will probably share custody. You will pay him child support. You will split all assets.

This is what people mean when they say they can’t afford to divorce.[/quote]

He doesn't beat the kids, just me. Not everyday but he has a record for DV. This is why I can't leave. I can't afford to take care of my kids AND pay him. Thie law sucks in so many ways.[/quote]

Don't get your legal advice here!  If you have primary custody, then there is a formula for how much each party is expected to contribute to the children's well-being.  It is influenced by how much custody each party has.  So, if you have the primary, HE should be paying you a portion of his earnings for child support.  The court doesn't care that he makes $20K... and that is "only enough to pay for his own living."  He has children.  He owes something toward their care.  You can find the formula on line for a general idea.  Talk to an atty.  Please.  Also, I had a friend who just got divorced in MD.  She hadn't worked for 12 years.  The judge REALLY, REALLY doesn't want to have to order alimony.  They want the parties to work out a deal.  The judge will give the attys a very good idea of what s/he is thinking of ordering for alimony if it comes to that.  The judge was thinking of about $1500-2000 per month for 3 years.  This is for my friend who hasn't worked in a job for 12 years.  So, to the PP who is thinking of getting divorced... don't assume that you will be paying alimony forever (if at all).  The point of alimony these days is to give the non-working party a chance to re-train and find a job.  It is very unlikely that judges will order permanent alimony anymore unless the non-working spouse has a disability or is close enough to retirement age that it just isn't realistic that s/he can get a sustainable job with living salary.

Don't assume you are stuck in a bad situation.  [/quote]

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