Reply to Love is Blind, do people really think about how things will be after having kids?

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Reply to "Love is Blind, do people really think about how things will be after having kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of people don't think about this. I did not. But I wasn't that interested in having any kids. Asked my DH if kids were a dealbreaker because it was not a priority for me. He decided he really wanted kids after we were married. [/quote]

So what happened? Did you have them?[/quote]

Yes, we have two. He kind of badgered me into it. I was resentful for a long time. I probably always will be. I love them, I even like them, but I still would have preferred my life not having kids. A woman usually ends up being the default parent even if the man "helps." It is just not how I wanted to spend 20 years. If he had said kids were a dealbreaker when we were dating, I would have ended it. He said they were not, so I kept dating him. I felt like he pulled a bait and switch on me. It has been hard on our sex life over the years but I don't feel guilty. It is hard to feel close to someone or want to when you feel like you are living their life and not your own. It't too much sacrifice for me, personally. I don't find much joy in it.[/quote]

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