Reply to Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Requests from a Sibing who is there for Elderly Parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am amazed at the expectation that someone should print out a picture.  If you want the picture then you print it and mail it and make it easy.  My MIL is in a nursing home and its still a lot of work dealing with the nursing home which is terrible, buying her clothing and everything she needs (which we often pay for out of our money) and visiting at least weekly.

My Dad is declining and my parents are separated.  Mom wants to control everything related to money and my sister wants an opinion.  I have had it and told them to deal with it as if they want to have all the control and decision making there is no need for me to get involved.  (I'm going to have to pick up all the pieces as they will not do anything but send emails saying what needs to be done).  My sister's attitude is she live far away.  (well, we can fix that and move away too).  [/quote]

Why not give your other relatives sizes and ask them to order clothes for your MIL? You can bring the clothes to her when you visit. Folks in nursing homes don't need a lot of stuff (no room for it) but they do need clean, comfy clothes and shoes.

Your own parents being married but separated with your dad's health declining and your mom controlling all the money is a bad situation.  I have no suggestions for that, sorry that your mom is making this so difficult for you though.[/quote]

We have asked others to buy clothing.  My MIL has 4 siblings.  Not one will help.   I have sent out a list of needs, including sizes, styles and even suggested really cheap things and not one person has sent anything.  I have asked them to call the nursing home weekly to check in.  At best one calls one of us yearly to ask how she is doing.

You are wrong about not needing stuff.  The clothing regularly gets destroyed by their laundry and/or gets lost or misplaced in someone else room (I regularly go through her stuff).  I have to basically replace a lot every six months.  Socks every 2-3.   I am not spending a lot and buy on clearance and put away as she needs them.  She also has another son who completely checked out.  She has her own room.  We have it nicely decorated and bough her furniture, bedding (which keeps getting lost), curtains and pictures to make it feel like home.  We treat her as we'd want to be treated in her situation.  And, it makes it more comfortable to visit.
[/quote]

Yes.  I agreed that clean clothes/shoes are something that they need - that is why I suggested a list of specific clothing/sizes that you know the person will wear.  What they don't need is a bunch of extraneous "stuff".  There is no room for it in a nursing home.

MIL's siblings probably have their own spouses/in-laws/children and their own health needs that they are dealing with.  I'm sorry her son checked out on her, that sucks.

It's good that you are visiting her.  Those visits matter a lot.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics