Reply to DH thinks excessive TV time is "bonding"

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Reply to "DH thinks excessive TV time is "bonding""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Man here. For me, I'm not good at "playing" with them, but we can do stuff together. I take them to the playground, or even out on mundane chores like shopping. It sounds like he's uncomfortable controlling your toddler when he's out, which means he hasnt' spent enough time wiht them in the first place. A good place to start then is to sign them up for a class (of his choosing) to go to every Saturday.[/quote]

I'm OP.

I’ve tried to have this conversations other ways, as previous poster’s suggested. I’ve brought up the recommended amount of screen time. I’ve discussed my plans to stick to a certain amount of TV time for the upcoming week. Asked if he’d take the baby to XYZ class or run an errand. I get that he needs time to unwind, and he more than deserves it. There are plenty of times throughout the week where he is able to relax at home without putting on the “Dad” hat.

And if the baby wants to watch a sport or evening news program with him, that’s fine. Although complete fantasy until he gets older. The TV habits have been gradually growing and not some long running underlying problem. Again, he’s a smart and reasonable person and it surprised me that he wouldn’t agree to what appears obvious. I don’t care how he increases his engagement with DS. If I was trying to control them then I would say something about it in the moment, not later.

I’ll assume the conversation embarrassed him to some level. I’m sure I could have delivered the message better, but I do believe a direct approach was the only way to have my point understood. For those who respond with the threat of divorce, you’re not wrong. Communication is indeed a major reason why relationships become unsustainable. Although that doesn’t feel like a current threat in my marriage, life is ever changing.

To the gentleman above, I appreciate your perspective. It makes total sense that he could feel unequipped to handle DS in public. Toddlers are a breed of their own anyhow. I will try to encourage the Saturday class approach or preschedule a chore/errand he and the baby can do on Saturday.

In all fairness, we ran out of paper towels this morning and he offered to take the baby to the store to pick some up. Offering to take the baby on a quick errand almost never happens so I guess this is a good opportunity to recognize the effort.[/quote]

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