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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you were living in Europe, with your spouse as the breadwinner and you decided to leave for the US with your kids upon divorcing? If it was important to you that your kids maintain a relationship with their father maybe you shouldnt have moved to a different continent.[/quote]

+1000. Such skewed views here. You're the one that moved, not him.[/quote]

PPs do not understand overseas living at all.  She has no work permit overseas.  Depending on the country, if she divorces him overseas, she may not even have a legal status that permits her to continue to reside in the country.  That means she had no way to divorce him and stay in country.  She also couldn't have filed for divorce and child custody in Europe as they are likely not subject to jurisdiction in European courts due to his status as a Fed.

Also, as a Fed, there is probably some kind of federal leave or transfer he could have requested while dealing with this.  Agree that long term its probably not likely he would give up career in foreign or defense service and that overseas spouse is part of that life.

But it wasn't an option for her to stay in Europe unless she continued to stay married and exposed to abuse, which is an unreasonable expectation.

Sorry, OP, you are right that it sucks that he didn't care enough to come back to the US, but this can't be a surprise because he didn't care enough about any of you to not cheat in the first place.  Stop ascribing rationality to him or hoping that he will do the right thing.  [b]His history shows that he won't and that he is not to be trusted or counted on.  Move forward accordingly.[/b][/quote]

This means that if you are not pursuing a court order to garnish his wages because you don't want to poison his relationship with the children -- you have to give up that fantasy. Pursue your legal rights vigorously so that five years from now, when he's remarried with another couple of kids whose mother is about to leave him, too, you aren't left completely without child support.[/quote]

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