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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got talking with a friend today - our kids are both freshmen - about our new relationship with our kids now that they've (mostly) flown the nest. Given the cost of college today, what is the line between helicoptering and legitimate intervention at the college level?

As anyone who has been through college knows, some professors are simply incompetent or complete and total dirtbags. I'm not talking about professors who are tough and challenging, but those where no learning takes place. [b]Or worse grading is arbitrary and capricious with no relation to the work performed. So you can stick the class out and hope you pass or drop it and spend another semester/summer retaking the class, hopefully with a decent professor.[/b]

On the one side of the argument, college students are adults and should fight their own battles, and that they have to learn that sometimes life isn't fair and to deal with it. And that is a good argument.

On the other side however, college has become almost prohibitively expensive. If no learning is taking place, that money is wasted and sets the student up for problems in follow on classes. If dropping adds an extra semester, that's a big cost. And of course the college has no problem encouraging kids to drop classes and add a semester or year = more money.

And that sets the stage for the dilemma: As a parent you want your kids to deal with their own issues. But also as a parent (and taxpayer in the case of public colleges) you don't want to waste thousands/tens of thousands due to professor Dinghead.[/quote]

To me, this where as a parent you intervene but not with the professor but with your own child.

You explain that this happens in college and the decision is for them as a student to decide to continue the class if they can get a decent grade or drop it to not effect GPA.

For freshman especially, parents need to be involved in looking at their child's school calendar and proactively noting the drop/add dates and class withdraw dates and explaining how this works to their child and how to evaluate classes and whether to stay in or drop.  Freshman do not automatically know how to deal with these issues.

It's easy to say that they are adults and can figure it out but when the cost is coming back to you as the parent then you have a vested interest in staying on top of it.  You also have to be honest with your child and let them know that financially as long as you are responsible that these are decisions they have to run by you.  [/quote]

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