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[quote=Anonymous]In 9th grade--casual visits to various schools that happen to be near someplace that we were visiting anyway (Penn while near Philly for a soccer tournament, BC and BU when we were in Boston for a family event).  Paying attention to study habits and reinforcing that better grades now means more options later (not hooking it to college but more to generic opportunities).

10th grade--see where the PSAT scores land.  See where the first AP test scores land.  Continue doing the 9th Grade stuff.

Summer after 10th grade--more purposeful, but still casual, visits to colleges, especially a number of VA state schools if you're in VA. Start asking the child about preferences on campus v. city school, STEM v. liberal arts, big v. small. Have any necessary difficult conversations about what's financially realistic.

11th grade--emphasize grades and SAT prep.  Khan academy probably fine for most kids who are down with the program at this stage.  Take SATs.  Decide which schools you will apply to and check with Naviance/guidance counselor on the GPA/SAT odds for each of those, which will help child figure out the safety-reach spread using empirical data provided by someone other than the parent (we all know how well parent advice is sometimes received). Because this is when the peer crazy starts, continue to emphasize that everyone gets in somewhere that works out and there is no 'irreplaceable' first-choice school. it's a lot like guiding them through the first serious romantic relationship & breakup thereof . . . .

Summer after 11th grade--98% finish essays. Complete any visits not yet completed. Ensure kid has a summer job, preferably one that's kind of lame, so that they understand the importance of a paycheck and the importance of doing something that you don't hate. Otherwise, enjoy the last high school summer.  Depending on how insane your child's peer group is, you may want to advise that it's best not to discuss exactly where the applications are going. I've seen some really serious drama arise in North Arlington from kid A "stealing" kid B's "spot" at school X.

12th--Apply, continue to emphasize that this is not a life or death situation, talk about options if the child gets in nowhere (regardless of the likelihood, them understanding that you are OK with a whiff and the family can tolerate a gap year can be deeply stress-reducing for the teens in the midst of the peer crazy), FAFSA, & wait!!!

All of this is different if you have a top 25 Division 1 recruited athlete, particularly if that athlete is a female.  Lots of verbal commitments for popular field sports happen for girls between sophomore & junior year of high school, so much of the above sorting regarding which college to attend is accelerated.

Finally, if a kid is padding an application with extracurriculars that are mere application fodder, and not actual interests, that's clear to the admissions office.  Not worth the energy, yours or your child's, to do that kind of cynical padding for several years of childhood, which itself teaches the wrong (IMHO) lessons about journey v. destination.  
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