Reply to DH's inability to communicate with his parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I sympathize with you on the "not picking up the slack" part. It's so unfair when your spouse doesn't pull his weight. Do what you have to do to stay same, whatever it is, OP.

Here's my ADHD story: my husband has ADHD he refuses to treat. Right now his brother is scheduled to visit on Wednesday for a week. Nothing is ready, his room has been used as a hoarder-type storage by my husband for years, and what is he doing? He's decided to make shelves (instead of buying some ready made at Ikea) to store his mess. As if it could fit on shelves and somehow leave room for a bed! Ha! Imagine tottering cardboard boxes nearly reaching the ceiling. All he's doing is avoiding the real work, which is deciding what to keep and what to throw away. It's amazing he can't see this about himself.

So since I love his brother very much, and I am house proud, and if the room is a mess, it will come around to less friendly members of the family, I have to pick up the slack: triage the mountains of stuff, organize them in a logical way, persuade my husband to throw half of it away. And go to Ikea and buy a bed! And assemble it! All before Wednesday evening. While my husband works on his shelves, and grumbles about the slightest item I throw in the trash.

These are the defining moments of our marriage, when my contempt for him grows. It's sad that I'm staying for the kids. With the untreated ADHD, he would be an utterly irresponsible father on the days he has custody.

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There are no motels he could stay at?   You both sound crazy.
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