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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would go to couples counseling. Maybe it could help you reset and get past this. Even if you're right and the marriage is over, it could help you get some perspective on things and improve your relationship enough to co-parent in a functional way after you get divorced. [/quote]

This. Find a therapist experienced in couples therapy.

Take the energy you've been burning on stewing and fretting for months now and plow it into therapy. If DH refuses to go, tell him that refusal is equivalent to saying he has zero desire to even attempt to explore salvaging the marriage. Then get therapy on your own, immediately, at the same time you start lawyer-hunting.[/quote]
This is good advice. The fact that you are still there tells me it wasn't marriage ending--just very hurtful. If your husband won't go, that is a real problem, but you should definitely talk to a professional about this.[/quote]

OP here. We went to marriage counseling (initiated by me) about 5 years ago. It helped a little bit but went back to unhealthy ways of communication.  I was disappointed that DH was so defensive and didn't acknowledge his part. He acted like he didn't know why we were there. He talked a lot about the household chores he does around the house as if I sit around and do nothing. The last time I went by myself after one of his verbal outburst that left my ears ringing.

I'd like to go back into therapy to help me get through this, but maybe someone new.  Any recommendations?

Also, trying to decide who in my close-in circle of close friends family I should tell first.  I alway cringed when divorcing couples bad mouthed each other, and everyone knew details of the problems.  I think that's in poor taste, not to mention that I don't want the kids to grow up hearing awful things about their parents divorce. That being said, I really need support right now form real live people [/quote]

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