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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You gotta do better prioritizing and planning OP. You can have an awesome life (you have your health, the rest is up to you!)

Listen to this:

http://www.asianefficiency.com/podcast/083-kendra-wright/[/quote]

PP, I've read all this stuff.  And I am perfectly capable of doing it.  I can get it all done.  It's not about that.  It's about how I feel.  I can be uber-productive but it just feels hollow and it all flies by and it all bleeds into a big blur.  There's so much, and so much planning, that goes into making it all work.  Home feels like work, too.  I have two full time jobs, and I am manager at both.  And yes, my husband is a great partner and he brings in his share of income and does his share of childcare, housework, etc.  I'm sorry, but all these sites sell a myth.  On an existential level I just do not derive meaning and satisfaction from being super-woman.  It matters to me that I am providing for my family and my kids, but there is little joy in it.  I would like more time for actual joy.  For togetherness that is not planned because this is our one three hour window and by God we are going to cram some fucking fun in if it kills us!!!

And before anyone goes there, no I do not have money to hire a cleaner/nanny/cook/gardener.  [/quote]
K cool op. Glad you came asking for advice that you don't want to take. Oh wait, you actually just want to wallow in your misery. That's cool. Enjoy![/quote]

The part about the three hour window for some fun sounds exactly like the Amy Chua rant in her book about being an Asian supermom.  She describes the 2 hours they have to watch netflix on Saturday night as a family as the ONLY nonstructured time in their schedule, the only time they are all free simultaneously and no one has an activity.  If that's actually how your life is, then you need to figure out how to get off of the train and out of the rat race.
Of course, I felt the same way.  My oldest are in college now but I deeply regret not having spent more time just hanging out with them.  It feels like we all worked like maniacs and drove around like maniacs to get them into college and now it's like that Cat Stephens song about the cat's in the cradle.  All of a sudden I have nothing but time but they're not there to hang out.  [/quote]

OP here.  I hear you, PP.  I really do. What you talk about is my fear.  My son is in three activities.  I have already talked to DH about needing to whittle it down to 2 and that DS has to choose by the end of this year which he is going to focus on.  Because once the younger one is in activities, we will have a nervous breakdown.

I think DH is also in denial about needing to move - not cross country, but to a different hood in our current locale to make commutes and the stuff of daily life faster/easier.  I will wear him down eventually but that in itself is exhausting.  [/quote]

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