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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I experienced this with a coworker.  After a few weeks of love-bombing and soul-mating me, she went cold under the guise of "doing the right thing" (she'd been caught in an affair previously - go figure).  But then she'd rekindle everything because it was "futile" to fight the natural attraction.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  After a year of riding this emotional roller coaster, I became obsessed, all while trying to maintain a normal affectionate front at home.  A little research revealed this is the precise pattern used by Narcissists to ensnare and then control their victims.  (The hot/cold pattern is addictive because the hot feels so good after the cold.)  I've since gone "No Contact" and it feels liberating.  She still consumes many of my thoughts (she's stunningly attractive), but they're more diagnostic than romantic pining.   I've always been a hopeless romantic and tend to idealize (easier when the object is not obtainable).  If OP is limerencing, it might be worth digging a little deeper into the cause how realistic her impressions are.       [/quote]

This is great insight. I hope people give it some thought. I think people raised by someone with narcissistic tendencies are especially susceptible to this dynamic. Don't sugarcoat it as being a "romantic" who idealizes the unobtainable, when it's actually a sign that you are damaged and need to work (with therapy or on your own) to get more emotionally healthy, so that instead of drawing you, this dynamic repulses you. [/quote]

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