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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I've been in a situation similar to yours, right down to being the only female and most of the men being single or away from their wives.

Yes, crap like this happens. It is all too common, unfortunately. You are not alone in going through this. But that does not by ANY means mean that it is acceptable, or in any way your fault. I can hear in your post that you feel like you share some blame for enabling his behavior, but stop and think about that for a minute. Do we tell rape victims that they deserved it because they flirted with the guy? Maybe 50 years ago, but now we know better. I know your case isn't that extreme, but I still hate to hear that tone of self-doubt.  You are stronger than that.

I'm not sure how much advice I can give, because ultimately my solution was to leave. I hated "giving in" to them, I felt like I was failing by quitting ... but ultimately the situation just wasn't tenable, and I finally concluded that I could not control other people's actions, only my own. I would not be able to change the culture on my own, there were too many people who accepted it, so I had to remove myself.

In your case, all PPs seem right on about documenting. Whether to go to HR or not ... hard to say without knowing the culture better. Do you have HR on site? Does HR know you, do they know the men involved?

My only other recommendation: is there another male colleague that you trust, and could confide in? Someone to help watch your back, and maybe even be willing to testify later if needed that you told him about this behavior on XX date?  In my situation, I had a brief period where I was close to a small group of guys that treated me like a little sister.  If anyone tried to mess with me, they didn't start trouble, but they did surround me as a show of moral support. I found the worst offenders like to do their thing on the sly (like coming in to your office when nobody else is around), so just having a constantly present group helped ward off most problems.  It was actually soon after most of the group dispersed to other sites that things got worse again and I left.

Best of luck to you, OP.  I hope you find a way through this with your sanity intact. [/quote]

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