Reply to Family drama and I don't know what to do

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Family drama and I don't know what to do"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you had a chance to find out everything that's happening with your bro (via the emails from your sister in law) but you decided to "stay out of the drama". Everyone has accommodated your desire to stay out of it all. So you can't come in now and be all nosy and wondering what's up. Whether they're getting divorced isn't really your business.

And it may very well be that they don't like you, since maybe they reached out thinking that you'd be there for them emotionally and instead you showed them that you don't care about them. And maybe your mom is trying to not let you into the mix when she knows that it will just create more tension. Maybe your mom is looking out for the kids. Maybe the wife has medical issues. Who knows...

I think you should simply ask to spend some time with your mom away from the drama. Just text her back and say that it sounds like there's a lot of stuff going on over there, thanks for leaving you out of it like you requested, you'd really like to see her though since it might be your last chance for several years, you propose she meets you at X place at Y time, would that work for her?[/quote]

You are mistaken. I ignored her emails because she has mental issues.  She called her own husband stupid and useless and called my parents every name in the book. I don't want to find out anything from her. She is crazed.

One thing I don't think some people understand is that it's F*CKING stressful packing for another country. I have to come home, do my visa, pack and repack things in a storage unit and then leave. All after a 16 hour flight from where I'm at now. And won't be back in the country for a long time after this. No, not everyone has "accommodated" my desire to stay out of it all. I didn't appreciate his wife sending me those shitty emails. I didn't want to have to tell my parents about that email. I would have rather known nothing. And then my mom forced me to show her the actual email. I feel like I've been put in the middle of it and for some reason my stepbrother and his kids can take up an entire 8 bedroom house while I stay in a hotel - after he has treated my parents like crap for years.[/quote]

Of course it's stressful to pack and unpack a storage unit while getting ready to leave for another country.  But you know that your stepbrother's life is in tremendous turmoil now, you know that he has young kids staying in your parents' house and you know that your SIL is mentally/emotionally off her rocker.  If you don't want to add more to your own stress then go to the hotel like your mother has suggested.

You have to realize that your family members are under some pretty intense stress, too.  You can't wave a magic wand and make everyone happy.  Try to figure out what kind of help (if any) you would like to ask for from your parents with regards to move logistics and see if they can figure out a way to help you.  But do plan to stay in a hotel.  Do try to have a nice visit out with them before you leave and do everything you can to leave on a good terms with them (I'm sure they will miss you!).  You will be gone for several years, a lot will happen during that time.  Your life will change in wonderful and unexpected ways and their lives will no doubt change, too.  Do not get caught up in your stepbrother's sad divorce drama, that is not something that you can do anything about.[/quote]

I understand. I have already been gone for 6 months. There's also little things like needing a printer, etc for doing all the visa stuff. My mom has 8 bedrooms in her house. You could literally be in a totally separate part of the house and never see the other people. I do not know if they're getting a divorce at all. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics